11/11/2017 cop cars“you ever been arrested before?” the burly officer questioned as his grip on the cuffs he so tightly secured around my wrists rigidified. he was treating me like a criminal, except I was. who’s body was I in?
“no, sir.” I spoke so softly, it was almost a whisper. I figured being unmannerly would only make the situation worse. as the officer and I walked through the parking lot, I could feel every judgmental eye examining me like they’ve never seen a young girl being escorted out of the mall by a cop, except they probably hadn’t until that day. what had I done? as we approached the vehicle with ‘Police” tattooed on the side, I could hear the officers pager going off. my heart was beating in my chest, my lungs, my feet even. this wasn’t me, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I just wanted one day with you to get away from everything. suddenly my breathing hitched and then halted altogether. where were you? I was inside the car now, looking frantically through the lot to try and spot you. did you leave me? I would have too if I were you. the officer was outside the door now calling wherever they were sending me to. I sat in the back of the police car, frantic and sweating and still in the too-tight cuffs. I never thought I would see the back of a car like this. when did this become okay? and then, through tear-brimmed eyes, I saw you. you were sauntering over to the vehicle with another officer, this one lean and slightly more vexed than the one who took me away. you took a spot on the wall, leaning into it and directly in my line of sight. why did you stay? the officers sat outside, conversing about what to do with me. all the while, we sat, looking at each other from what seemed like worlds away. the husky officer entered the vehicle again and starting typing and telling me things I couldn’t quite comprehend at the moment. all I could focus on was you standing against the wall, staring at me. there wasn’t a hint of judgement in your eyes, only sympathy, only reassurance. my officer was still babbling about where he was going to take me when I read your lips. “its okay” you mouthed to me. tears were spilling into my lap now as I shook my head and said “no” over and over. but you persisted with the most convincing look of reassurance as I proceeded to shake my head more. “I love you” I saw you say. rivers were falling from my eyes. by the time I had the composure to respond we had already started pulling away from the crime scene. I love him, I thought to myself. its going to be okay because he loves me. and those words said with me the whole ride. I fell in love with you in the back of a cop car. Comments are closed.
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